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pales:

i’ll stop dressing in black when they invent a darker colour

tallbread:

"suck my dick" 

"nah sorry i have a shrimp allergy"

rewarn:

7% cell phone battery
0% motivation

coolboyclub:

Water tastes wild good sometimes. Like usually it’s whatever but sometimes you get a sip and it’s like god damn.

somedaysigetitright:

kingofbastille:

The amount of questions Bastille asks in their songs really stresses me out

are you gonna age with grace? do you like the person you’ve become? can you fill the silence? how am i gonna be an optimist? how am i gonna get myself home?

like idk dan you figure it out

splders:

*eats 4 slices of pizza*

im so full

*eats another 4 slices of pizza*

cyclopentanone:

when you have to go around the circle and introduce yourself to the group

image

lindsaylohoean:

i failed at raising a tamagotchi how the fuck am i supposed to raise a child

verticulars:

If you can’t deal with my sarcasm. I can’t deal with being your friend.